Transcription 3

Zoe:  This is our annotation 3 and Ivy and I would further discuss about whether parents should intervene with children’s decisions or something. Yeah, and first will be Ivy’s annotation.

Ivy: OK, and it’s my annotation’s topic that Leave Your Children Alone. And uh… I want to show you guys a short film that it’s about Vicki Hoefle to introduce herself. (short film playing) OK and this video…this short film can let you know who’s Vicki Hoefle. Because now I want to introduce you a book. She’s the author. And Vicki Hoefle has a new education named Duct Tape Parenting. It’s a way to let children to live without restraint. And it also emphasize to strengthen the relationship between parent and children. Vicki also say that it’s a long plan. And why this education named Duct Tape Parenting is because that Vicki say when you want to give your children an order or help, then you have to image a tape that can tape your mouth and tape your hand so that can avoid parents can’t help to over help their children. And in my early article, I said that overprotection and making all decision for children is some kind of parents’ distrust. In Vicki’s book, she said that parents have to give their children two things. It’s trust and chance. Trust is the base of good parent-children relationship. Because only when parents trust their children, their children can trust parents and trust themselves. And chance is the beginning of children’s self-growing. Because only parents give children chance to do something else on their own, they can learn how to solve the problem by themselves. And Vicki also said that parents can’t give children overprotection and making all decision for them. Because the real world is not as simple as children thought if parents give them too much overprotection. When they grow up and find that this society isn’t as simple as they thought, they cannot do it well by themselves. Making all decision will let children don’t have their own space to learn how to arrange their own life. Vicki also said that making mistakes is the easiest and the most efficient way to let children face the challenges and difficulties in the future. Vicki said that parents have to let nature to teach the children. And what’s nature’s lecture? I want to give you some example. One day, Tom forgot to bring the coat to school, and then he will feel cold so that he couldn’t get out with his friends, and because of that, he will remember to bring the coat next time. It’s some kind of nature’s lecture. And now I want to give you my conclusions that parents have to give their trust and chance to children. And the second is nature will has its own method to teach the children. And the third, parents have to be relax, and trust that mistakes can make children learn better. It’s my reference.

Zoe:  Okay, and for my annotation 3, um the reference I search for on internet, and I found out that it is filled with um um articles against tiger mother, but um I think that there are misconceptions, so I think that um who else would be a better subject to clear out the misconceptions besides her own daughter? So for annotation 3, I would be um talking about clearing the misconceptions of tiger mother by the mouth of her daughter Sophia Chua, who recently was received by both yale university and Harvard University. And first, I will show you a short clip from Wall Street Journel. Okay, and okay. The first myth I would like to clear about is that many people think that tiger mother parenting method is about totally control, from the day child was born to the day when the child become an adult, or maybe get um get into a college or get into marriage or something. But from the article of Sophia Chua and also the interview, she talks about that “ I think that your strict parnting force me to become an independent thinker and make the most of opportunities. So it is not about that total control would make children have um to loose the ability to make their own decisions. It is the misunderstanding of tiger mother parenting method. And also from the interview we can know that Sophia said that um her mother hardly intervene after she goes into high school. So um from the interview we can know that one of the teaching method of tiger mother is to tell her what to do when she was young, and then when the parent think that my children have the ability to make right decisions, they would let go and let them to face the difficulties by themselves, rather than decide them of what they should do for future occation. And the second myth is alienation. Many people um they talk about that the high pressure of the parents giving to children would cause alienation between parent and children. and  also because of the high pressure, children would in turn gain their distrust to their parents and would not rather um prefer to share their feelings to their parents. Um but um from the article of Sophia from New York Post: why I love my strict Chinese mother, um I can saw her fully love and her fully trust and the bond between her and her mother. And in fact, the book, Battle Rhythem, Amy Chua did get permission from both of her daughter to publish the book, so, if they are really alienated, why would they agree to publish the things in the family? So I think that the tiger mother parenting method is actually a two way feedback, because the mother gives fully care and gives fully trust to their children, and in turn children would have fully trust to their mother and would prone to ask for advice from their parents. So um my conclusion is that tiger mother parenting method is not about directing which way to go but building the confidence and working habits. Okay tada, any question?

Vicky: I think that you said that tiger mother did not choose for which way should go but actually when her children are young, tiger mother did choose what the what she think about that they should learn piano. Because in I have read the book, she didn’t let her children to learn other instrument other than piano. So she is choosing her way for her children, what do you think about this.

Zoe:  well my point of view is that children don’t actullay know what they want when they are young. Teah so um when later, um she did intervene with her  children when they are young. But Sophia did mention that after she goes into high school, when um Amy thinks that Sophia has the ability to make good decisions, she let her go and let her do choose what university she will attend to, what classes she will go to , and um what subject she will major in in university.

Vicky: But what if the children before want to learn other instruments like drums or guitars, but she oppose of and want her children to play piano.

Zoe:  because yeah I did read that part in the battle rhythem. Like maye it is not high class enough and only wants her children to learn piano and violin. Well, yeah, I am not totally agree to tiger mother, but I think that it is still important direct the main decisions of what the chil