Annotation3

        Vicki Hoefle, the author of Duct Tape Parenting, published in 2013 November, has worked on professional education about parenting for twenty years. She is the founder of the class ─ Parenting On Track as well. This book is not only written upon her own experience, but also includes the theory from two psychologists ─ Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs.

        Vicki brought up a simple education, which is called Duct Tape Parenting. This education is a way to let children without restraint. It emphasizes to strengthen the relationship between parents and children, instead of taking them in hands. Vicki also tells parents that this method is a long plan. Parents have to always prepare a tape. When you want to give order, taping your mouth. When you want to servant your children, taping your body. When your children is crying for no reason, taping your eyes and ears. These method means to avoid parents can’t help to over help their children.

        In this book, Vicki also regard trust and chance as very important things that parents have to give their children. Trust is the base of good parent-child relationship, and chance is the beginning of children’s self-growing. And it also response to my point that parents will overprotect children or make decision for them is because they can’t trust their children. As for the overprotecting and making decision for children, Vicki also give her thought in the book. First, Vicki writes that if parents overprotect the children, it’s indeed bad for them, because the children will find that the real world is not as simple as they thought in the end. Second, totally making decision for the children will let them don’t have space to learn how to arrange their own life. Besides, they will think themselves nothing at all.

        Vicki says:” Making mistakes is the easiest and the most efficient way to let children face the challenges and difficulties in the future.”  It’s the last emphasis that Vicki gives in this book. Instead of giving a lecture from parents when children doing wrong, Vicki refer to let the nature teach the children. In this world, if children do something wrong, there must be some outcomes resulting from their deed. For examples, let’s suppose that a boy forget to bring the coat to school. If parents just lecture on him, he will only think that he is not good. Your original purpose, don’t want him to feel cold, won’t go into child’s mind. However, without parents’ lecture, the boy will remember to bring the coat next time on his own because he will feel coat and couldn’t get out with his friends. That’s nature’s lecture. It also can prevent bad parent-child relationship resulting from parents’ scolding.

        Parents have to learn to give their trust and change to children. Besides, their overprotecting and making decision for children will just make children lost their ability. The most importance of all is that this nature will has its own method to teach the children. All we have to do is to be relax, and believe that mistakes can make children learn better.

參考資料

Vicki Hoefle(2013)。教養孩子，你只需要一捲膠帶。台北市：沐風文化出版有限公司。

Reflection

1.      Ivy & Zoe

Our stand points aren't opposing enough. We have to strength our idea and make them more extreme. As for myself, I have to search more academic articles from some authoritative people as my reference. Because my annotation 1 and annotation 2 couldn't convince readers strongly, if I choose a movie to support my idea, the all papers finished in the end of semester will be weak. As a result, I decide that I still choose a movie to support my stand point. However, I will give up an annotation I wrote before, and write a new annotation of a more academic article from the authoritative people. Besides, I have to notice the author’s background. The former annotation I wrote didn't introduce the author very well and clear. Only the reader can understand the author’s background, they can trust my annotation and analysis. As for my annotation about a movie, I have to emphasize on the conversation of the move.

2.      Ruby & Emma

I regard that Ruby’s idea about finding someone who really had abortion, and asking the influence of the abortion is great. Because it can make her stand point much stronger and convinced. However, I think it will be a little difficult to find such a girl who is willing to share her experience. After all, the girl who had abortion may, in fact, want to forget this kind of experience. So Ruby has to get through this problem. But if she can get through, this article will be perfect and wonderful.

3.      Kevin & Alice

Their respective stand point is certain, and their issue is really appropriate. In this century, how to use internet very well and protect our own information in the same time is a good question which is hard to solve. However, because this kind of issue is general and has many details. So they have to try to mainly focus on some points so that their papers won’t be too wide and we can clearly understand what they really want to say. Or they can find some specific examples or theories or researches which can directly point out their issue.

4.      Cassie & 學長

They are really good. No matter in the issue or the annotation, they can directly catch the most important point. Their annotations have chosen the article from the authoritative authors, and it is what I have to learn now.

5.      Perly & Joanne

Their issue is close to anyone of us. Most of people had thought of this issue when we were in senior high or junior high. However, that is because their issue is easy for everyone to think, they have to make their papers have more details that is not easy for others to think about. But, as so far, their annotations had done really well and were specific. It’s good.

Transcription 2

Ivy: I…I am Ivy.

Zoe: I am Zoe. And we are going to discuss about “Should parent force children in making decision?”

Ivy: Uh… I am opposite side. Uh… There’s a magazine named “bobo小天才雜誌”. (Class laughing) It once to divided all parents into six types. The first type is democratic type. The second type is autocratic type. The third type is neglective type. The forth type’s parents let children do whatever they want to do. The fifth type’s children. Uh… The fifth type’s parents will over protect their children. The sixth type’s parents is lack of unity. I want to focus on the fifth type’s parents who will over protect their children. According to the magazine, those children… those parents will substitute for children to make decision because they think their decision is better than the children, even, it’s the best way. BUT~ the children growing up under this kind’s education will have some negative effect. For example, first, uh… they will take parent’s help for granted. Second, they only think about themselves, so that they can… they can’t get along with others. Third, they uncertain about their own decision and their ability. And this kind parents who is over making decision for children is because they doesn’t distrust their children. In this century, many parents have get used to arrange everything for their children. For example, which school go to, and which instrument or language to learn. But, everyone has their best way to face these problems. Parent’s reference doesn’t mean the answer. And some obstacles can make children stronger. Parents can’t keep company with children forever. What most important they have to do is to provide some appropriate assistance to have their children to learn to how to grow up or protect themselves.

Zoe: Okay, hehe, um, and I am um, approval that parents should push their children to some decisions. Um my annotation 1 is…, the source of my annotation 1 is from Amy chua’s article, tiger mother’s article, that “Why Chinese parents are superior.” And my second annotation is um an article written by Paul Tulis and um he is um describing the research of Se Yeong Kim, a researcher in United States, which, who is researching of the development of children in the immigrant families, for example, like um European father, Ammerican mother, or um Chinese mother, Ammerican father. Yeah, and she separates parents into three categories, the first one is Permissive寬容. The second one is Authoritative權威性. And the third one is Authoritarian獨裁的. And permissive is the combination of high warmth, low control and demandingness. Authoritative is the combination of high responsiveness and negotiation. Authoritarian is um coercion with less responsiveness. And um she also made a chart of the responsiveness of the children of the three categories parents. Um, um, it is a kind of like um, a cross, and um here is high depression, low depression, and here is low achievement, high achievement. And she thinks that the um the harsh one, also the tiger mother is the same as authoritarian is been categorized as low achievement and high depression. And easygoing parents, such as Permissive parents, are categorized as low achievement and low depression. The Supportive parents, also the same as Authoritative parents, are categorized as high achievement and low depression. And um I have gain, um, questioned about the differences between Authoritative and authoritarian so I dig into her article, and her point of view is that both authoritative and authoritarian, they both have um control their children in some kind of way. It only like, um, the difference between authoritative and authoritarian is that their um con… um their extent and their means of control their children, for example, authoritative is more like positive control which um includes parental monitoring and democratic monitoring  While negative control, is um combined with psychological control and punitive parenting. Yeah and to her point of view, she thinks that authoritative is the best way to raise up children. Yeah, and I would like to conclude my annotation1 and annotation2. While um my annotation 2, Se Yeong Kim, um, disagrees with tiger mother. She thinks that tiger mother parenting method would not work. Um but the reason why I chose these two article as my annotations is that they still um both of them still agrees that we should control our children in some way rather than letting them making their own decisions. Yeah.

Annotation2 (revised)

     The magazine called 《bobo小天才雜誌》, which published in 2008 April, wrote an article about five types of parents’ education. First type is democratic type. The children under this kind of education is usually independent and good at adapting new surroundings. They also like to try new things. The second type is autocratic type. The children under this kind of education is passive, and lack of thinking and criticizing. The third type is neglect type. The children who are usually neglected by parents are easy to debase the confidence and get away from people. The fourth type’s children is often spoiled by their parents. What is special is that the magazine divide the parents of the fourth type into two kind. One is let children do everything they want. The other is over protect their children. The last type’s parent is lack of unity. It makes children difficult to adapt new surroundings, have a sense of security and trust others.

     I want to focus on the second kind of parents of the fourth type. According to the article, this kind of parents often substitute for children to make decision. Because they consider their decision better than children’s, even the best and only way. In addition, their method also cause negative effect to the children. Those who has been used to parent’s overall arrangement will take parents’ help for granted. Because getting used to parent’s arrangement, they can’t learn to negotiate with others. And this kind of children is easy to be spoiled by their parents. As a result, some children growing under this kind education can’t get along with others because they only think about themselves. Some will feel uncertain about their own decision and ability because their decisions are always denied by their parents. In fact, these problems all result from parents’ distrust. Parents can’t trust their children can deal with the problems by themselves. They want to build a house to let the children get inside forever, so that they can never be hurt. Nevertheless, it will only make their children more fragile.

     In this century, parents get used to arrange everything for their children, which school to go to, which instrument and language to learn. It’s normal for parents to give children some advices. After all, parents indeed experience more from the society. However, everyone in this world has their own best way to face any trouble or difficulty. Parents’ idea can be a reference, but it doesn’t have to be the answer. Moreover, we can’t deny that some obstacle can make children stronger and easier to solve the problems by themselves. Parents can’t keep their kids company forever. What they can do is to provide an appropriate assistance to train them how to protect and improve themselves.

Resource : www.cyut.edu.tw/teacher/ft00009/Posts02.doc‎

Annotation1 (revised)

Shelly Li(李雪莉), one of CommonWealth(天下雜誌)’ s editor, once published an essay titled Don’ t be Helicopter Parents in 2007. This article’s main point is obvious. Shelly probed into the circumstance of nowadays about parents’ teaching and discipline.

In the article, Shelly give two examples. One is that a mother was angry at the teacher because the teacher didn’t answer her daughter’s question first. Another example is that a mother being a volunteer who should keep order beside the swimming pool. She ran to her daughter and used hair dryer to blow her daughter’s hair as her daughter walked out from the dressing room.

From the examples above, we can notice that there are more and more parents tend to over intervene and be over nervous. According to the author, these helicopter parents are born in the period of 1961 to 1976. The children of this period saw the change of society, and try to create more democratic and freer educational way. However, these parents have some problems under the expectation to their “perfect” children. For example, anxiety, uneasy, comparison etc.

Because of helicopter parents, there are many children’s ability of living become poor. They become easier to get anxious as well as parents. Besides, there are more and more problems between parents and children. For example, in order to let children can win other children, parents will want their children to learn some extra-curricular activities such as instrument or foreign language. However, if children don’t like these activities that their parents choose for them, they will get expressive and unpassionate. As a result, it is easy to have conflict between parents and children.

In this article, Shelly wrote about the reason and result of helicopter parents. In this part, Shelly gives clear explanation. However, in connection with this situation, Shelly didn’t say how to solve the problems. It’s weakness of this essay. As for my opinion, these parents who overprotect and spoil children should try to train their children to take care of themselves. After all, parents can’t keep company with children and make decision for them forever. The more trains and difficulties they encounter, the easier they live for themselves.

Resource: https://www.google.com.tw/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=2&cad=rja&ved=0CDEQFjAB&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.hs.ntnu.edu.tw%2F~guidance%2Fparent%2FDocument%2FGoodArticle%2F05.doc&ei=kbFiUo_eD87FkwX2uYHYBA&usg=AFQjCNFx-R7tgkwX5Irfpk65AibeW2zf-Q&sig2=sUGwP0H_5vYmJJKcbWX-QQ