Annotaion 4

        Many parents will think strict education as the only way to let children get better position in their future. However, some of them can’t even control how strict is useful and efficient. Sometimes, parents think the discipline they give is appropriate, on the other hand, in fact, is a poison to the children.

        Celine Raphael is a talented child who is good at playing the piano. However, everything changes when she is “crowded” by this title. In order to letting Celine become a professional pianist, her father starts to force Celine practice the piano day and night, even stop her to have a normal life that a child deserve. Furthermore, her father will use belt to whip her once she make mistake, or other much more terrible punishments. In the end, Celine finally stood out and fight for her liberty. She successfully make her dream come true, being a doctor instead of a pianist.

         From Celine’s biography, we can find the difference of idea and feelings between parents and children. Although Celine’s father punished Celine strictly and mercilessly, even making Celine have anorexia, he denied every charges from Celine. He impute his cruel deed to Celine’s bad-behaved. We can find that, something parents think is good for children may, in fact, hurt children most seriously. However, parents will just name this discipline a good way to let their children a wonderful future. But, do these deed really come from the truly hope for children? I don’t think so.

        Many parents will force their children to learn the instrument or dance or other accomplishments because they want their children to finish what they can’t do by themselves. Celine’s father once dream to play the piano, however, because his parents can’t afford this expenses. Instead to understand what Celine really want, he just think that Celine is good at playing the piano, so she have to develop her talent without other excuses. This projection is the biggest problem the most parents will have.

        Some parents will feel some kind of guilty when they punish their children, then they will try to give their children some consolations. However, even you pull the nail out of the wall, there’s still a mark on it. Celine’s father will embrace her in the night to get Celine’s forgiveness after he punish her. But he will go on his terrible discipline and humiliation day after day. Father want to make up their relationship by a little hug. But to Celine, her hurt can’t restore so easily.

        Celine has mentioned that her father is growing up under a harsh environment and education from his father. His father also use strict method to educate him. Although Celine’s father really get a good position in the future, his mind also become anomalistic. Is this really what his father want to give him? From her father’s childhood, we can also discover one thing. A strict education may really make your children have a better work or achievement, but their mind may also have so influence by your inappropriate treatment.

        From Celine’s biography, we can understand those who is under the education from the parents like Mother Tiger. When parents just see the good side from Mother Tiger’s book, maybe they should read this book to avoid making the mistake like Celine’s father.

Reverence:

Celine Raphael(2013)。過度教育。台北縣：寶瓶文化事業有限公司。

Transcription 3

Zoe:  This is our annotation 3 and Ivy and I would further discuss about whether parents should intervene with children’s decisions or something. Yeah, and first will be Ivy’s annotation.

Ivy: OK, and it’s my annotation’s topic that Leave Your Children Alone. And uh… I want to show you guys a short film that it’s about Vicki Hoefle to introduce herself. (short film playing) OK and this video…this short film can let you know who’s Vicki Hoefle. Because now I want to introduce you a book. She’s the author. And Vicki Hoefle has a new education named Duct Tape Parenting. It’s a way to let children to live without restraint. And it also emphasize to strengthen the relationship between parent and children. Vicki also say that it’s a long plan. And why this education named Duct Tape Parenting is because that Vicki say when you want to give your children an order or help, then you have to image a tape that can tape your mouth and tape your hand so that can avoid parents can’t help to over help their children. And in my early article, I said that overprotection and making all decision for children is some kind of parents’ distrust. In Vicki’s book, she said that parents have to give their children two things. It’s trust and chance. Trust is the base of good parent-children relationship. Because only when parents trust their children, their children can trust parents and trust themselves. And chance is the beginning of children’s self-growing. Because only parents give children chance to do something else on their own, they can learn how to solve the problem by themselves. And Vicki also said that parents can’t give children overprotection and making all decision for them. Because the real world is not as simple as children thought if parents give them too much overprotection. When they grow up and find that this society isn’t as simple as they thought, they cannot do it well by themselves. Making all decision will let children don’t have their own space to learn how to arrange their own life. Vicki also said that making mistakes is the easiest and the most efficient way to let children face the challenges and difficulties in the future. Vicki said that parents have to let nature to teach the children. And what’s nature’s lecture? I want to give you some example. One day, Tom forgot to bring the coat to school, and then he will feel cold so that he couldn’t get out with his friends, and because of that, he will remember to bring the coat next time. It’s some kind of nature’s lecture. And now I want to give you my conclusions that parents have to give their trust and chance to children. And the second is nature will has its own method to teach the children. And the third, parents have to be relax, and trust that mistakes can make children learn better. It’s my reference.

Zoe:  Okay, and for my annotation 3, um the reference I search for on internet, and I found out that it is filled with um um articles against tiger mother, but um I think that there are misconceptions, so I think that um who else would be a better subject to clear out the misconceptions besides her own daughter? So for annotation 3, I would be um talking about clearing the misconceptions of tiger mother by the mouth of her daughter Sophia Chua, who recently was received by both yale university and Harvard University. And first, I will show you a short clip from Wall Street Journel. Okay, and okay. The first myth I would like to clear about is that many people think that tiger mother parenting method is about totally control, from the day child was born to the day when the child become an adult, or maybe get um get into a college or get into marriage or something. But from the article of Sophia Chua and also the interview, she talks about that “ I think that your strict parnting force me to become an independent thinker and make the most of opportunities. So it is not about that total control would make children have um to loose the ability to make their own decisions. It is the misunderstanding of tiger mother parenting method. And also from the interview we can know that Sophia said that um her mother hardly intervene after she goes into high school. So um from the interview we can know that one of the teaching method of tiger mother is to tell her what to do when she was young, and then when the parent think that my children have the ability to make right decisions, they would let go and let them to face the difficulties by themselves, rather than decide them of what they should do for future occation. And the second myth is alienation. Many people um they talk about that the high pressure of the parents giving to children would cause alienation between parent and children. and  also because of the high pressure, children would in turn gain their distrust to their parents and would not rather um prefer to share their feelings to their parents. Um but um from the article of Sophia from New York Post: why I love my strict Chinese mother, um I can saw her fully love and her fully trust and the bond between her and her mother. And in fact, the book, Battle Rhythem, Amy Chua did get permission from both of her daughter to publish the book, so, if they are really alienated, why would they agree to publish the things in the family? So I think that the tiger mother parenting method is actually a two way feedback, because the mother gives fully care and gives fully trust to their children, and in turn children would have fully trust to their mother and would prone to ask for advice from their parents. So um my conclusion is that tiger mother parenting method is not about directing which way to go but building the confidence and working habits. Okay tada, any question?

Vicky: I think that you said that tiger mother did not choose for which way should go but actually when her children are young, tiger mother did choose what the what she think about that they should learn piano. Because in I have read the book, she didn’t let her children to learn other instrument other than piano. So she is choosing her way for her children, what do you think about this.

Zoe:  well my point of view is that children don’t actullay know what they want when they are young. Teah so um when later, um she did intervene with her  children when they are young. But Sophia did mention that after she goes into high school, when um Amy thinks that Sophia has the ability to make good decisions, she let her go and let her do choose what university she will attend to, what classes she will go to , and um what subject she will major in in university.

Vicky: But what if the children before want to learn other instruments like drums or guitars, but she oppose of and want her children to play piano.

Zoe:  because yeah I did read that part in the battle rhythem. Like maye it is not high class enough and only wants her children to learn piano and violin. Well, yeah, I am not totally agree to tiger mother, but I think that it is still important direct the main decisions of what the chil

Annotation3

        Vicki Hoefle, the author of Duct Tape Parenting, published in 2013 November, has worked on professional education about parenting for twenty years. She is the founder of the class ─ Parenting On Track as well. This book is not only written upon her own experience, but also includes the theory from two psychologists ─ Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs.

        Vicki brought up a simple education, which is called Duct Tape Parenting. This education is a way to let children without restraint. It emphasizes to strengthen the relationship between parents and children, instead of taking them in hands. Vicki also tells parents that this method is a long plan. Parents have to always prepare a tape. When you want to give order, taping your mouth. When you want to servant your children, taping your body. When your children is crying for no reason, taping your eyes and ears. These method means to avoid parents can’t help to over help their children.

        In this book, Vicki also regard trust and chance as very important things that parents have to give their children. Trust is the base of good parent-child relationship, and chance is the beginning of children’s self-growing. And it also response to my point that parents will overprotect children or make decision for them is because they can’t trust their children. As for the overprotecting and making decision for children, Vicki also give her thought in the book. First, Vicki writes that if parents overprotect the children, it’s indeed bad for them, because the children will find that the real world is not as simple as they thought in the end. Second, totally making decision for the children will let them don’t have space to learn how to arrange their own life. Besides, they will think themselves nothing at all.

        Vicki says:” Making mistakes is the easiest and the most efficient way to let children face the challenges and difficulties in the future.”  It’s the last emphasis that Vicki gives in this book. Instead of giving a lecture from parents when children doing wrong, Vicki refer to let the nature teach the children. In this world, if children do something wrong, there must be some outcomes resulting from their deed. For examples, let’s suppose that a boy forget to bring the coat to school. If parents just lecture on him, he will only think that he is not good. Your original purpose, don’t want him to feel cold, won’t go into child’s mind. However, without parents’ lecture, the boy will remember to bring the coat next time on his own because he will feel coat and couldn’t get out with his friends. That’s nature’s lecture. It also can prevent bad parent-child relationship resulting from parents’ scolding.

        Parents have to learn to give their trust and change to children. Besides, their overprotecting and making decision for children will just make children lost their ability. The most importance of all is that this nature will has its own method to teach the children. All we have to do is to be relax, and believe that mistakes can make children learn better.

參考資料

Vicki Hoefle(2013)。教養孩子，你只需要一捲膠帶。台北市：沐風文化出版有限公司。

Reflection

1.      Ivy & Zoe

Our stand points aren't opposing enough. We have to strength our idea and make them more extreme. As for myself, I have to search more academic articles from some authoritative people as my reference. Because my annotation 1 and annotation 2 couldn't convince readers strongly, if I choose a movie to support my idea, the all papers finished in the end of semester will be weak. As a result, I decide that I still choose a movie to support my stand point. However, I will give up an annotation I wrote before, and write a new annotation of a more academic article from the authoritative people. Besides, I have to notice the author’s background. The former annotation I wrote didn't introduce the author very well and clear. Only the reader can understand the author’s background, they can trust my annotation and analysis. As for my annotation about a movie, I have to emphasize on the conversation of the move.

2.      Ruby & Emma

I regard that Ruby’s idea about finding someone who really had abortion, and asking the influence of the abortion is great. Because it can make her stand point much stronger and convinced. However, I think it will be a little difficult to find such a girl who is willing to share her experience. After all, the girl who had abortion may, in fact, want to forget this kind of experience. So Ruby has to get through this problem. But if she can get through, this article will be perfect and wonderful.

3.      Kevin & Alice

Their respective stand point is certain, and their issue is really appropriate. In this century, how to use internet very well and protect our own information in the same time is a good question which is hard to solve. However, because this kind of issue is general and has many details. So they have to try to mainly focus on some points so that their papers won’t be too wide and we can clearly understand what they really want to say. Or they can find some specific examples or theories or researches which can directly point out their issue.

4.      Cassie & 學長

They are really good. No matter in the issue or the annotation, they can directly catch the most important point. Their annotations have chosen the article from the authoritative authors, and it is what I have to learn now.

5.      Perly & Joanne

Their issue is close to anyone of us. Most of people had thought of this issue when we were in senior high or junior high. However, that is because their issue is easy for everyone to think, they have to make their papers have more details that is not easy for others to think about. But, as so far, their annotations had done really well and were specific. It’s good.

Transcription 2

Ivy: I…I am Ivy.

Zoe: I am Zoe. And we are going to discuss about “Should parent force children in making decision?”

Ivy: Uh… I am opposite side. Uh… There’s a magazine named “bobo小天才雜誌”. (Class laughing) It once to divided all parents into six types. The first type is democratic type. The second type is autocratic type. The third type is neglective type. The forth type’s parents let children do whatever they want to do. The fifth type’s children. Uh… The fifth type’s parents will over protect their children. The sixth type’s parents is lack of unity. I want to focus on the fifth type’s parents who will over protect their children. According to the magazine, those children… those parents will substitute for children to make decision because they think their decision is better than the children, even, it’s the best way. BUT~ the children growing up under this kind’s education will have some negative effect. For example, first, uh… they will take parent’s help for granted. Second, they only think about themselves, so that they can… they can’t get along with others. Third, they uncertain about their own decision and their ability. And this kind parents who is over making decision for children is because they doesn’t distrust their children. In this century, many parents have get used to arrange everything for their children. For example, which school go to, and which instrument or language to learn. But, everyone has their best way to face these problems. Parent’s reference doesn’t mean the answer. And some obstacles can make children stronger. Parents can’t keep company with children forever. What most important they have to do is to provide some appropriate assistance to have their children to learn to how to grow up or protect themselves.

Zoe: Okay, hehe, um, and I am um, approval that parents should push their children to some decisions. Um my annotation 1 is…, the source of my annotation 1 is from Amy chua’s article, tiger mother’s article, that “Why Chinese parents are superior.” And my second annotation is um an article written by Paul Tulis and um he is um describing the research of Se Yeong Kim, a researcher in United States, which, who is researching of the development of children in the immigrant families, for example, like um European father, Ammerican mother, or um Chinese mother, Ammerican father. Yeah, and she separates parents into three categories, the first one is Permissive寬容. The second one is Authoritative權威性. And the third one is Authoritarian獨裁的. And permissive is the combination of high warmth, low control and demandingness. Authoritative is the combination of high responsiveness and negotiation. Authoritarian is um coercion with less responsiveness. And um she also made a chart of the responsiveness of the children of the three categories parents. Um, um, it is a kind of like um, a cross, and um here is high depression, low depression, and here is low achievement, high achievement. And she thinks that the um the harsh one, also the tiger mother is the same as authoritarian is been categorized as low achievement and high depression. And easygoing parents, such as Permissive parents, are categorized as low achievement and low depression. The Supportive parents, also the same as Authoritative parents, are categorized as high achievement and low depression. And um I have gain, um, questioned about the differences between Authoritative and authoritarian so I dig into her article, and her point of view is that both authoritative and authoritarian, they both have um control their children in some kind of way. It only like, um, the difference between authoritative and authoritarian is that their um con… um their extent and their means of control their children, for example, authoritative is more like positive control which um includes parental monitoring and democratic monitoring  While negative control, is um combined with psychological control and punitive parenting. Yeah and to her point of view, she thinks that authoritative is the best way to raise up children. Yeah, and I would like to conclude my annotation1 and annotation2. While um my annotation 2, Se Yeong Kim, um, disagrees with tiger mother. She thinks that tiger mother parenting method would not work. Um but the reason why I chose these two article as my annotations is that they still um both of them still agrees that we should control our children in some way rather than letting them making their own decisions. Yeah.

Annotation2 (revised)

     The magazine called 《bobo小天才雜誌》, which published in 2008 April, wrote an article about five types of parents’ education. First type is democratic type. The children under this kind of education is usually independent and good at adapting new surroundings. They also like to try new things. The second type is autocratic type. The children under this kind of education is passive, and lack of thinking and criticizing. The third type is neglect type. The children who are usually neglected by parents are easy to debase the confidence and get away from people. The fourth type’s children is often spoiled by their parents. What is special is that the magazine divide the parents of the fourth type into two kind. One is let children do everything they want. The other is over protect their children. The last type’s parent is lack of unity. It makes children difficult to adapt new surroundings, have a sense of security and trust others.

     I want to focus on the second kind of parents of the fourth type. According to the article, this kind of parents often substitute for children to make decision. Because they consider their decision better than children’s, even the best and only way. In addition, their method also cause negative effect to the children. Those who has been used to parent’s overall arrangement will take parents’ help for granted. Because getting used to parent’s arrangement, they can’t learn to negotiate with others. And this kind of children is easy to be spoiled by their parents. As a result, some children growing under this kind education can’t get along with others because they only think about themselves. Some will feel uncertain about their own decision and ability because their decisions are always denied by their parents. In fact, these problems all result from parents’ distrust. Parents can’t trust their children can deal with the problems by themselves. They want to build a house to let the children get inside forever, so that they can never be hurt. Nevertheless, it will only make their children more fragile.

     In this century, parents get used to arrange everything for their children, which school to go to, which instrument and language to learn. It’s normal for parents to give children some advices. After all, parents indeed experience more from the society. However, everyone in this world has their own best way to face any trouble or difficulty. Parents’ idea can be a reference, but it doesn’t have to be the answer. Moreover, we can’t deny that some obstacle can make children stronger and easier to solve the problems by themselves. Parents can’t keep their kids company forever. What they can do is to provide an appropriate assistance to train them how to protect and improve themselves.

Resource : www.cyut.edu.tw/teacher/ft00009/Posts02.doc‎

Annotation1 (revised)

Shelly Li(李雪莉), one of CommonWealth(天下雜誌)’ s editor, once published an essay titled Don’ t be Helicopter Parents in 2007. This article’s main point is obvious. Shelly probed into the circumstance of nowadays about parents’ teaching and discipline.

In the article, Shelly give two examples. One is that a mother was angry at the teacher because the teacher didn’t answer her daughter’s question first. Another example is that a mother being a volunteer who should keep order beside the swimming pool. She ran to her daughter and used hair dryer to blow her daughter’s hair as her daughter walked out from the dressing room.

From the examples above, we can notice that there are more and more parents tend to over intervene and be over nervous. According to the author, these helicopter parents are born in the period of 1961 to 1976. The children of this period saw the change of society, and try to create more democratic and freer educational way. However, these parents have some problems under the expectation to their “perfect” children. For example, anxiety, uneasy, comparison etc.

Because of helicopter parents, there are many children’s ability of living become poor. They become easier to get anxious as well as parents. Besides, there are more and more problems between parents and children. For example, in order to let children can win other children, parents will want their children to learn some extra-curricular activities such as instrument or foreign language. However, if children don’t like these activities that their parents choose for them, they will get expressive and unpassionate. As a result, it is easy to have conflict between parents and children.

In this article, Shelly wrote about the reason and result of helicopter parents. In this part, Shelly gives clear explanation. However, in connection with this situation, Shelly didn’t say how to solve the problems. It’s weakness of this essay. As for my opinion, these parents who overprotect and spoil children should try to train their children to take care of themselves. After all, parents can’t keep company with children and make decision for them forever. The more trains and difficulties they encounter, the easier they live for themselves.

Resource: https://www.google.com.tw/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=2&cad=rja&ved=0CDEQFjAB&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.hs.ntnu.edu.tw%2F~guidance%2Fparent%2FDocument%2FGoodArticle%2F05.doc&ei=kbFiUo_eD87FkwX2uYHYBA&usg=AFQjCNFx-R7tgkwX5Irfpk65AibeW2zf-Q&sig2=sUGwP0H_5vYmJJKcbWX-QQ

Annotation 2

     The magazine called 《bobo小天才雜誌》, which published in 2008 April, wrote an article about five types of parents’ education. First type is democratic type. The children under this kind of education is usually independent and good at adapting new surroundings. They also like to try new things. The second type is autocratic type. The children under this kind of education is passive, and lack of thinking and criticizing. The third type is neglect type. The children who are usually neglected by parents are easy to debase the confidence and get away from people. The fourth type’s children is often spoiled by their parents. What is special is that the magazine divide the parents of the fourth type into two kind. One is let children do everything they want. The other is over protect their children. The last type’s parent is lack of unity. It makes children difficult to adapt new surroundings, have a sense of security and trust others.

     I want to focus on the second kind of parents of the fourth type. According to the article, this kind of parents often substitute for children to make decision. Because they consider their decision better than children’s, even the best and only way. In addition, their method also cause so negative effect to the children. Those who has been used to parent’s overall arrangement will take parents’ help for granted. Some can’t get along with others because they only think about themselves. Some will feel uncertain about their own decision and ability. In fact, these problems all result from parents’ distrust.

     In this century, parents get used to arrange everything for their children, which school to go to, which instrument and language to learn. It’s normal for parents to give children some advice. After all, parents indeed experience more from the society. However, everyone in this world has their own best way to face any trouble or difficulty. Parents’ idea can be a reference, but it doesn't have to be the answer. Moreover, we can’t deny that some obstacle can make children stronger and easier to solve the problems by themselves. Parents can’t keep their kids company forever. What they can do is to provide an appropriate assistance to train them how to protect and improve themselves.

www.cyut.edu.tw/teacher/ft00009/Posts02.doc‎

Annotaion 1

Shelly Li(李雪莉), one of CommonWealth(天下雜誌)’ s editor, once published an essay titled Don’ t be Helicopter Parents in 2007. This article’s main point is obvious. Shelly probed into the circumstance of nowadays about parents’ teaching and discipline.

In the article, Shelly give two examples. One is that a mother was angry at the teacher because the teacher didn’t answer her daughter’s question first. Another example is that a mother being a volunteer who should keep order beside the swimming pool. She ran to her daughter and used hair dryer to blow her daughter’s hair as her daughter walked out from the dressing room.

From the examples above, we can notice that there are more and more parents is easier to over intervene and be over nervous. According to the author, these helicopter parents are born in the period of 1961 to 1976. The children of this period saw the change of society, and try to create more democratic and freer educational way. However, these parents have some problems under the expectation to their “perfect” children. For example, anxiety, uneasy, comparison etc.

Because of helicopter parents, there are many children’s ability of living become poor. They become easier to get anxious as well as parents. As a result, there is more and more problems between parents and children.

In this article, Shelly wrote about the reason and result of helicopter parents. In this part, Shelly gives clear explanation. However, in connection with this situation, Shelly didn’t say how to solve the problems. It’s weakness of this essay. 

參考文獻：

https://www.google.com.tw/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=2&cad=rja&ved=0CDEQFjAB&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.hs.ntnu.edu.tw%2F~guidance%2Fparent%2FDocument%2FGoodArticle%2F05.doc&ei=kbFiUo_eD87FkwX2uYHYBA&usg=AFQjCNFx-R7tgkwX5Irfpk65AibeW2zf-Q&sig2=sUGwP0H_5vYmJJKcbWX-QQ

Parents’ care, children’s obstacle?

     Because of the trend of fewer children, it’s common that there’s only one or two kids in a family. As a result, this situation makes parents pay more attention on children and want to make their own children become the best one in the society. As a result, in addition to staying with children all the time, if they can, some of parents start to try to control and decide children’s life. However, the more arrangement parents give, the less attempt children have. Maybe it’s cruel to ask people to be totally independent of their parents, because parents’ help somehow still have advantage. But if it goes too far, parents’ care may be injure to children. There is a word called helicopter parents, which means parents always keep an eye on children. They surround their children, telling them what to do, and what not to do. It makes children lost their judgment, and limits children’s ability. Under parents’ big protection, children gradually get used to rely on parents’ supply. According to the research, helicopter parents bring up kidult, which is the combination of kid and adult. Kidult often have some problems. For example, being irresponsible, lack of confidence, over dependent, couldn’t bear frustration, and so on. In 1983, Dan Kiley, the psychologist, had mentioned Peter Pan Syndrome, which describes those who isn’t young, but the way he or she thinks and does is just like a child. Those who under parents’ big protection and order is like Peter Pan, doesn’t want to grow up, only wants to hide in his or her small world, enjoying parents’ supply and protection. But time will go on, it’s impossible for parents to stay with children forever. Their children still have to live on their own. The best way for parents to make their children be better is to let go their hold. When children still have change to fail, to be frustrated, let them experience more defeat and test, so that, they can grow and be stronger. Parents' care doesn't mean everything, there is still something have to let children go through by themselves.